I recently completed the Grief Recovery Workshop facilitated by Doreen Thomas. The workshop helped me to understand & personally acknowledge how grief impacts our daily lives through the thoughts, behaviors, actions & decisions we make along our journey. I learnt that grief consists of many losses including death, loss of health, loss of dreams, divorce or end of a relationship, moving, major financial change. I realized during the course how sad & damaging it is that we really don’t know how to cope & manage grief for ourselves & others around us. This is due to the way we have been taught or conditioned by our parents, family members, or friends. The Grief Recovery course taught me the correct skills in a safe & supportive environment, to be able to delve deeper into my past & present relationships & find healing & completeness. Doreen is a highly skilled & professional facilitator who made the course interesting, interactive & thought provoking in a relaxed atmosphere. I would highly recommend this course to anyone who is struggling with any form of grief & who wants to find healing & inner peace.
All my life the word ‘Grief’ or ‘Grieving’ seemed to relate to death of a loved one; yet we seem to go through grieving for many other things. Some examples are: divorce (not necessarily your own but could be a family member or friend), broken relationships, loss of good friendships which lead to loss of trust in people, illness, career changes and/or loss of jobs. Therefore the revelation for me was in learning the true meaning of Grief which is ..... "the conflicting feelings caused by the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behaviour". Everyone and every grief is unique. I have learnt through this course, among many other things, not to be judgemental of others, to listen to the other person’s story without interrupting or to give opinions or start to tell your story. Your time will come to tell your story. I have experienced many times where I have wanted to turn back the clock to a particular day so I can relieve that hour or so, and wished it had been ‘Different, Better or More’. We often hear the phase “time to get over it and move on” (or “suck it up, get over it and move on”). We try, but can’t. We need to RECOVER! We often hear the media use the word ‘Closure’ but through the Grief Recovery Method I have learnt to ‘COMPLETE’ and say GOOD BYE, not only to the departed but also to a living person. Not forgetting the person or incident but actually saying Good Bye to the PAIN it has caused.
It took 100% commitment to get the most out of the course, but the 100% input is what you get out of it. I found it challenging at times, confronting at times and I had to be honest about my feelings all the time. Voicing my honest thoughts wasn't easy either, but is the only way you can truly connect to those feelings. Now, being able to think about my dad without pain in my soul, missing him and grieving for him has become easier. I can allow the thoughts and feelings, not having to stop myself because of pain it caused. I can truly recommend this course for any one that has painful connections to a present or past relationship. It is a set of skills I can and will use in future to help me deal with my emotions.
Thank you so much for running the grief course. Not only did I have an opportunity
to look at my grief in-depth and deal with it thoroughly, but I also learnt about present relationships and how to take care of myself in those relationships. And I also learnt that while my other loved ones are still alive it’s a good idea to say those thank you's and I love you's so that I have no regrets once they have passed on. Thank you for the beautiful, gentle and unthreatening way you facilitated the group. I highly recommend this course to everyone because we all go through losses in our lives and this grief method teaches the tools that help us process those losses.
I wanted to thank you so much for all your support during this process. Thank you for your encouragement to persevere. I would also encourage anyone wanting to do grief well and to complete the pain of loss, to trust the process. Even though a struggle at times, to remember, no pain, no gain. I feel so much more equipped now to move forward, being able to say goodbye to the pain and loss. To say goodbye to 'the unrealistic expectations of getting something from someone who could not or would not give it' p146. I feel empowered to handle the pain which I know will still keep coming, in dealing with a living loss. I know, when particularly negative thoughts and emotions arise, not to fight them, but allow them to come so I can process them, and be able to speak them out loud, which has been a real blessing in this process. I have been adding these thoughts and emotions to my completion letter under 'P.S'. This enables me to make any apologies, emotional significant statements and offer forgiveness, which helps me to keep moving forward instead of becoming stuck in grief again. I know it is a continual process and it helps me to keep short accounts in relationships. I also treasure the fact that I am not alone in this journey and God will continue to strengthen and uphold me for whatever lies ahead.
It really wasn't what I expected but at the same time I felt it was a good skill to use for loss no matter what that loss is. I felt it rather personal, and being the person I am I personally felt it hard to really open up to the one on one sharing, but that's just me, I found this difficult. I know that others would find that helpful and also it would give them a sense of relief to be able to share. I have recommended this workshop to a number of others as I know it will be helpful tool for them and much needed to allow them to process their loss. It certainly allows you to think through the ways that we are taught as children towards grief and loss. It is a tool which I feel necessary to allow people to be able to move forward in their personal loss. There was certainly a real sense of encouragement among the group.
The Grief Recovery was a good course making me think, saying "yes I thought that, yes I'm doing just that". I will read, and already started to, read the book again. What I found for myself that I just could not do in the course was to deal with my husband's death. Just too soon, just too raw. Although I thought of him every day since he passed away, I put off grieving, because I was busy with his estate, busy dealing with people. I just know now that I must make time to look at photos, think of the things we did, thinking back on all our memories, but also think of my future without him. I wish you every success with every workshop you do with people that must deal with the grief in their lives.
It is hard to believe I felt as I did at the beginning of the course. It was my intention initially to give the program away as it was not what I expected or what I thought I needed. But how wrong I was. This Grief Recovery program certainly turned out to be what I did need. I thank God for bringing Doreen into my life over and over again for this very rewarding journey. I struggled often during the course however that has helped so much, releasing the problems. Without any doubt I would recommend the Grief Recovery Method to anyone. In fact we all need it many times throughout our life in one way or another. Thank you Doreen for your sensitivity and professional attitude.
I have felt happier since doing the course as I think less about the loss of four years go. It was valuable to do for now and in the future. Learning about grief that it is normal and natural and how not to get stuck in unresolved grief is helpful. I will continue to do some more relationship/loss histories before the end of the year.
It's with a grateful heart I say "thank you" to you for sharing the GRM course and guiding and encouraging me through a very painful time in my life. I felt affirmed and empowered by the treasured truths in the GRM course...and by the de-bunking of what grief is NOT. It was, at times, a gut wrenching and confronting course but oh so liberating ... a seeming contradiction but that's where I felt I 'got' to … liberated from the pressure, anxiety and all- consuming nature of unresolved grief. Although my separation from my husband was quite recent, I found a place of peace and hope (with reserved excitement!) about my future and the new adventures God has in store. I'm still sad ... but have accepted that that's ok. I can accept and embrace the sadness I feel and not be devastated by the memories of what was. I have always been a determined person ... to not be defined by, or embittered by, the choices of others that I have no control over. This hasn't been easy or even possible at times since my separation. However the course highlighted for me that although it's confronting acknowledging actions and emotions, reactions and events all require honesty and self- reflection in order to begin and successfully complete the healing journey. The structure of the GRM allowed me to do this ... which was awesome! I agonized over forgiveness and thankfulness but, once acknowledged, I felt I could 'move forward' with a fuller and more enthusiastic heart that was ready to embrace life again. I still have a ways to go and things still come up that require some thought and action on my part to complete more of my healing journey. Thanks to you though, I now have the tools I learned during the GRM course to address and complete the pain that arises. I have, and will continue to, recommend this course to anyone who is grieving or supporting someone who is dealing with loss. The course was so helpful because it was so real, honest and true. The compassion shown in the small group sessions were a balm to the raw pain and my broken heart! A truly great course that's renewed my hope. Thanks again Doreen.
Earlier this year my daughter gave me information about a course based on the Grief Recovery Handbook and facilitated by Doreen Thomas. My husband was divorcing me and I was having trouble coping with it at that time. I found the course to be both challenging and very helpful. One thing that really helped was the understanding of the concept of grief needing “completion”, so that you could say goodbye to the pain it caused. I had heard of closure in relation to grief and loss but never completion. I had previously had counselling to work through childhood abuse and the effect it had on my relationship with my Mother who had allowed it to continue. I was able to work through the abuse, and felt I had closure. However, when certain circumstances acted as triggers, I found I was often drawn into the feelings and pain I previously experienced. During the course I opted to work on the loss of my relationship with my Mother; rather than the pain of divorce which brought me to the course. It took a lot of hard work and full commitment to do, but I can now say with certainty that I have completed the grief concerning that time in my life and the pain is gone. Since I have done this, I have not been drawn back into pain as I had been previously. I have also worked on the pain and loss the divorce caused, and found it very helpful, and I will be using this technique with grief and loss situations that I am sure to face in the future. I will cheerfully recommend this Grief Recovery course to others who are suffering the pain caused by grief or loss in their lives. It takes commitment and total honesty to complete the course, but it is worth every minute of it. Thank you Doreen.
I recently completed the Grief Recovery Course with Doreen Thomas. I am a woman in my sixties who had suffered the tragic death of my father in an accident when only 15, lots of family sorrow and a divorce in my late twenties. I had a keen awareness that feelings of intense grief were bubbling away deep inside my emotions. Often times I would find tears welling up in my eyes if I thought about the pain in my heart or I was with a friend who would remind me of a painful event in my life. When I heard about the Grief Recovery Method, I knew deep inside that I needed to do this course. I remain forever grateful to Doreen for gently and compassionately guiding me through the seven sessions of this Course. In my opinion, there is no other way to recover from grief and loss but to work methodically through the Handbook and be honest and open and taste of the healing process. This Course equips and teaches a person how to work through any kind of grief or loss they may have encountered in life. Can I encourage you, if you are reading my testimony and have similar thoughts and feelings of loss or grief, please take the time to look after yourself and sign up for “The Grief Recovery Course”. You will not regret your decision.